Lonely London Lad: New Directions
I'm fed up with experimental rock. And the Lonely London Lad name. And three or eight other things.
So I'm making some changes, effective immediately.
First of all, the genre of our music is henceforth to be known as "Buddhist Death Metal Showtunes"
The band name is also changing, to "Dal Nodnol Ylenol". It is "Lonely London Lad" backwards, which in Armenian means "Fine Silken Socks". We shall henceforth rock your fine silken socks off.
To launch the new band name, we are hastily producing a new art shirt (pictured to the right). It ain't pretty, but it's real.
You are no longer to be termed a "fan" of the band. You are henceforth known as a "ventilation unit".
We will no longer offer CDs or MP3s for sale. We are going retro, bypassing even vinyl, and will distribute our music exclusively on 8-track tape.
I am abandoning veganism. From now on, I shall be like a wolf -- I shall only eat what I can kill with my own teeth, or which others have killed with their own teeth provided they practice good dental hygiene.
As soon as I can figure out how, I will be deleting the LonelyLondonLad.com website and the MySpace and Facebook presences. I am recycling my computer and moving to Tibet. If you wish to be my ventilation unit, you shall have to come to Tibet.
I am no longer an advocate of free love. All love shall now be very, very expensive. If you have to ask how much free love costs, you can't afford it.
The Lonely London Lad shop is now closed. I have enough of your money already. Save some for yourself, for goodness sake!
I shall be relinquishing my Grammy, Emmy, to Oscar, my Grampy.
I am changing my name from Robert to Trebor, which is pronounced "Trevor", and is Robert spelled backwards. I looked up the word "Trebor" in a Malaysian dictionary, but couldn't find it. I'll check another exotic dictionary later. It's got to mean something.
I am no longer going to end each of my communications with "Cheers". I find it too cheerful for a tortured artist such as myself. From now on, I shall sign off with "Skol", which the Scandinavians say for "cheers". Since they are darker people (not complexion-wise, but soul-wise), it sounds cooler.
Skol,
Trebor
P.S. Happy April First, mateys.
